Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Famous SardarJee Jokes

1.One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on The thirteenth floor building when a man came running in to
his office and shouted "Santa singh your daughter Preeto just died in an accident" Sardarji was in panic. Not
knowing what to do he jumped from his office window. While coming down when he was near the tenth
floor he remembered he didn't have a daughter named Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor
he remembered he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.
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2. A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I bor-rowed a book last week, but it was the
most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!" The
librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

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3. A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird
dropped a load when it was directly over him. The Sardar says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."


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4. A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"


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5. How many sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping? Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.


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6. Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world? Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.


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7. Did you hear about the sardar who signed all his checks so no one else could use them if he lost his
checkbook?


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8. Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just
bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.


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9. Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day. "Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two jackets?"."Because," said Banta Singh,"The directions on the can said to put on two coats. "


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10. A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.then the foreman asked the
sardar why he kept painting less each day,he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting
farther away from the paint can. "


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11. Why do sardars have see-through lunch box lids? So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

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12. A sardar's response to the comment, "THINK about it!": "I don't have to think-I 'm sardar! "


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13. Sardarji ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
Sardarji : 'I keep forgetting things.'
Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
Sardarji : 'What problem?'


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14. Why couldn't the sardar write the number "eleven"?
He didn't know which "one" (1) came first...

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15. Why does a sardar only change his baby's diapers once a month?
Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20 pounds."



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16. One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK. A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered "No No Me Banta Singh." Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai." (Translation ... Idiot everyone is looking for you and you are relaxing here!!!!!)

17. Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."



18. So this sardarji is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess what he might be thinking??
"Saala today again I will have to fall......"



19. One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a honeymoon tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a hospital (Breach Candy) was trying to fill some form. So the couple enquired eagerly " Sardarji what are you doing ?" Sardarji replied that I had a baby and I filling the birth certificate form. The couple as per schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi for their next destination. On the next day, they find the Sardarji in Delhi filling the same form. So once again young couple asked" Sardarji what are you doing ?" Once again replied that I had a baby and I filling the birth certificate form. The couple said but sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same form, how come you're in Delhi? Sardarji coolly replied "The form says FILL IN CAPITAL.'



20. Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed. "What happened ?" asked Surjit. "Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet." "But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?" " Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "

21. An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector. The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent. The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent. The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

22. A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron an stuck to my ear." "Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. .. what happened to the other ear?" "The man called back again."



23. There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa sing, "Singh saab, how come you are celebrating?"..... comes the reply :
Its the first time that a sardar has died of "brain" tumour !!"



24. Do you know what a Surdarji will do after taking Xerox ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!



25. Do you know what surdarji will do if he wants a white paper? (he already has one and he wants one more..)

He takes a Xerox of the white paper !

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